Associated Pressssss<\/p>\n
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This new wonder drug, discovered by Westchester County Neuro-Geek, Dave Norfleet-Vilaro, has been found \u201cradically effective\u201d in treating many of Twitter\u2019s top trending syndromes and disorders. Even if you\u2019ve never heard of any of the diseases cured by the revolutionary drug, over 80% of Westchester residents report, \u201cI must have that one too\u201d, while skimming the list of diseases and symptoms.<\/p>\n
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\u201cClinical trials” which lead to the discovery of PROFEN (pro-FEEN), conducted by Mr. Norfleet-Vilaro, used the scientific method of casual observation on about seven people for around three weeks.<\/p>\n
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\nThis miracle drug has been \u201cscientifically suspected\u201d to restore energy, reduce pain, boost mood and lessen the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
The shocking discovery revealed that when administered properly, the wonder drug was effective in alleviating symptoms in more than five top trending syndromes and disorders which include:<\/p>\n
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#OlwensDisorder – a neurological disorder which causes a slight to moderate delay in patient\u2019s motion after being in a comfortable position for more than ten minutes.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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#OlniesSyndrome – a seemingly debilitating condition caused by slight to moderate discomfort in the area of and surrounding the patella. (\u201cClinical studies\u201d show a strong correlation in the onset of Olnie\u2019s Syndrome in patients with Olwen\u2019s Disorder.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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#Olphaartitis – neurologicalish disease which prevents sufferer from doing anything they don\u2019t want to do.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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#Pheimerbichslaptibiaosis – another seemingly debilitating condition caused by slight to moderate discomfort in the area of and surrounding the patella.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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#Pherstwhirldhedakeosis – slight to moderate crainial discomfort which forces the cancellation of shopping, lunching or \u201ctaking care of\u201d errands, pets or kids.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
All the above diseases respond well to PROFEN resulting in the cessation of symptoms, temporary remission of the alleged disease\/syndrome\/condition and absence of the accompanying complaints and excuses.<\/p>\n
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\n\u201cThis guy\u2019s a freakin\u2019 Ponce de Leon\u201d, claims easily impressed neighbor.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
The surprisingly easy and inexpensive treatment method is most effective when used preemptively. Fortunately, the onset of the treatable symptoms can be easily predicted. The two most common triggers are \u201chow I tried metabolic expenditure\u201d (HITME) or \u201dboring entertainment at mealtime event (BEATME) anxiety prognostication disorders.<\/p>\n
Having a ready supply of PROFEN is paramount to the success of the treatment plan. A few days before the expected onset of symptoms, prepare a two day supply of the wonder drug by scraping off the first three letters of several ibuprofen tablets. Then the day before onset, take 2 tablets every 6 hours to enjoy a symptom-free life thanks to the anti-inflammatory effects of a twenty year old generic drug and the miracle of the placebo effect.<\/p>\n
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Associated Pressssss This new wonder drug, discovered by Westchester County Neuro-Geek, Dave Norfleet-Vilaro, has been found \u201cradically effective\u201d in treating many of Twitter\u2019s top trending syndromes and disorders. Even if you\u2019ve never heard of any of the diseases cured … Continue reading